YOU PRAYED IT WOULD HAPPEN
You begged God and sold your soul (and your parents' souls) to the Devil.
You rocked yourself to sleep at night whispering "please oh please oh please let it come..."
You sat outside the computer store for weeks just hoping to see some sign that your pathetic pleadings had been heard.
Well... it's available now:

D-Coy Interactive has spent over 3 years coding the video game that will change everything you thought you knew about gaming.
It's SO REAL you won't be able to believe it's not really happening!
This is the SLAMMINGEST CRAZIEST SICKEST thing YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!
OVER 452 DEVIOUS LEVELS
filled with the best, most mind-blowing 3D animation imaginable!
Armed with nothing except your wallet stuffed with money, your female shopping instincts and your long blonde hair,
you must plunge into the heart of the wildest adventure you've ever faced.
Imagine it.
IF YOU CAN ...
shop `till you drop!
get the best sales!
avoid any sexual contacts!
look at shop-displays for hours!
walk around and do nothing!
carry huge bags!
IT'S ALL UP TO YOU!
FORGET Quake 3 Arena and Unreal Tournament!
This game features full 365-degree motion combined with superb 3D art, ultra high resolution polygons and a fast-paced soundtrack
from the famous Dutch musician Andre Rieu make this the SKULL-NUMBING HEART-THUMPING THRILL-A-MINUTE ride you've NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE!
TWO HUNDRED more levels than MARKET MADNESS 2 plus new super stores, new special offers,
and better-looking shopping bags (including a black leather super bag!).

A screenshot taken right in the middle of the action!
IT'S THE HARDCORE HIT OF THE YEAR!
Listen to these RAVING reviews from the scenedudes:
"This game RULES! But I'm not sure what you're supposed to do."
Thunderstrike^Logic
"Uhmm, when do I get to shoot stuff?"
Xam^San-TX
"Where can I find guns and ammo?"
RoGEK^Sublimity
"I couldn't figure out how to fuck anything"
Buzzbee^Groovin'
"Where have you guys hidden the killing stuff?"
Da Bug^SceneTrippers
"When can I actually fuck something?"
Fuckface^Homez
"Where's my crosshair?"
Sonic^Destiny
"I'm not sure how to get her to kill anything"
Radical Ray^Logic
"Can you kill ANYTHING in this stupid game?"
Morphine^RBI
"Where's the frickin' toilet?"
Ventilator
GET IT NOW!
MARKET MADNESS 3 is now available for Windows 95, Playstation, Nintendo 64 and iMac.
Take your shopping bag and run to the store immediately. Maybe it's on sale already?
You'll never know what you missed until you bought MARKET MADNESS 3.
Available now for only $99,95 on shiny gold CD-R's from the D-Coy HeadQuarters at Ambience 2k!
Market Madness 3 is a trademark of D-Coy Interactive